The Holidays are here, and for some of us that means an extra dose of stress and maybe even a little self-loathing. We aren't good enough, can't do enough, can't buy enough. I'm hoping that this doesn't sound familiar at all, but if it does you are not alone.
It's difficult to find the time and sometimes the resources (money and/or supplies) to be the kind of Holiday superhero we want. That's okay. Giving presents is one of the most fun parts of Holidays, in my opinion, but if you can't buy gifts there might be other ways to let people know they mean a lot to you. If you do have a little bit of money to spend, you might be able to make a few batches of cookies and some containers and give those out to friends and family.
If you have children the stress can sometimes rob you of the holiday cheer you want to feel and share. You can even become an accidental Scrooge about the holidays. Let's face it, no one wants to be in the position of not being able to give presents to their children. It sucks. Depending upon the ages of those children, they may not always appreciate a homemade gift, especially when their friends show off their shiny new toy or latest tech gadget. This is where a sort of tough love comes into play.
It's okay to talk to your kids and tell them to only request one or two things from Santa, instead of all the things they can think of. Perhaps have them create a Santa list, and then a regular list. It's also okay to share the cost burden of some gifts with close friends and family who usually would be giving presents to the same people as you. It will help lighten the costs for everyone, not just you.
What really matters during the holidays is the memories you make with the people you care about, whether that is family, friends, or chosen family. You can make some great memories by creating cheesy cards with whatever you have on hand, reading some holiday library books, singing carols, and baking together. Twenty years from now, children most likely won't remember a whole lot about their gifts, but if you create special traditions like baking together each year, they will remember those times. Eventually those moments will be more special to people than any other gift you could have given.
Remember that the holidays are really about making memories with the people we care about most. You are good enough, smart enough, and you've got this. Don't forget to relax when you're creating memories. You're not supposed to be stressed out. Be like dough. Roll with the punches and bounce back. Just because something unexpected happens doesn't mean everything is ruined. I once tried to make my Aunt's peanut butter fudge for my family. It was the first fudge (and so far the last) I had made. I was devastated. It didn't get fully mixed and then set into something ridiculously hard. I'm pretty sure we had to chisel it out of the pan. Strangely enough, it still tasted good and is now affectionately referred to (and specifically requested) as "Peanut Butter Brick". Yep. That's a thing. I missed out on a fun opportunity at the time though, because I was too busy beating myself up about not creating the perfect fudge experience for my family. Luckily, they still have fun memories about it, so maybe we'll try again this year. My mother-in-law is very wise and tells me that you just have to work WITH the mistakes you make. That's so true with any creative endeavor, and often times, in life. Mistakes can make the most fun memories, so don't be like me and waste valuable time and moments beating yourself up. Make a memory out of that mistake instead.
Holiday cheer isn't about how much you get or how many presents you can give (I know, I'm still trying to convince myself of the giving part), it's about creating special memories. It's about being together and spending time focused on the people who mean the most to you. Ditch as much of the stress as you can, and try not to expect superhuman holiday heroics. Just be you and share your love.
Do you have a favorite family or friend tradition? What tradition do you wish you could do? Share in the comments if you want!